Thursday, August 21, 2008

So, now what?

Not a fan of talking about this. Maybe the fact that I am not in Kenya at the moment I kinda forgot how it felt when I saw the country literally go up in smoke in Dec07 and Jan08 and how we couldn't travel to buy groceries. My nightmares of being chased by people with machettes only ended last month.
I am still very bitter, why lie. I didn't realize how bitter I was until a friend visited from Kenya and she told me of the way the country's social relationships have been destroyed-things are not the same, even if there is "peace". Where did all this tribalism nonsense come from? I just don't understand. I didn't grow up hating someone, just because they were from another tribe. The leaders we trusted with our lives have betrayed us and have destroyed the perceptions of so many generations. They have betrayed us completely the selfish bastards! It will take us years to recover and actually trust that someone from another tribe is not 'out to get me'....
I dunno if I am making any sense to anyone out there. How do we rise above this yucky feelings we have for each other inside and the imaginary conspiracies they have planted in our minds?

Now what do we do cause dude, I am an angry Kenyan woman. Its not over for me and I am not going to pretend that I was not affected. Its not fine and dandy just because they have colluded to work together. Or maybe I am not mature enough to forgive and forget what they did. Because think about it, behind closed doors, when your friends from other 'rival' tribes are not there, what do you say about their community? Come one, be honest, we all do it.

These leaders messed us up and they are the same people, so called enemies, who will go play golf together in Karen, using tax payers money to furnish their lifestyles with all sorts of luxuries.


Damn.

We have been played.